28 Jan 2009, Posted by jessie in the category, 1 Comments

A Clean Bill of Health…Despite a Really Bad Cold!

Yesterday and today were…hmmm…what shall we say…a good introduction to the Moldovan health system?

As part of the application process for a residency visa, we were required to get a health check done in the hospital system here. Now we should make it clear first up that hospitals most definitely do not work the same here as in Australia, and neither does the idea of a queue, the concept of using a computer system, or the simple process of actually checking your real health status. To explain things further, we would like to take you on a tour of our last two days.

Step One: Find the only registered hospital in Chisinau which can conduct the official health check for anyone wanting a residency visa for Moldova, or for any Moldovan wanting to apply for a visa for another country. To give you an idea of what we’re looking for, it’s a big unkept building with no sign out the front, which will give you a stark reminder of photos you have seen in school from any Communist country in the 1950s.

Step Two: Find door #8 and ask “Who is the last in line?”. You can then ‘queue’ behind this person (who may easily be holding a place for 8 other people) in the corridor for about one hour. For the first time in our lives we actually think Preps aren’t so bad at lining up after all – this is no exaggeration.

Step Three: Find door #12 because even though you were told to wait at door #8, it wasn’t really the right place. Repeat Step Two. The nurse will then fill in 3 different pieces of paper, one of which needs 10-12 different doctor’s stamps on it.

Step Four: Make your way around the hospital by following Step Two, avoiding any nurse who may be carrying open vials of blood. After you’ve seen 3-4 doctors who mostly ask “Are you normal?” and getting their stamp, it’s time to visit the Gynecologist (well as least for the females!). To give you the same advice we were, it’s simply a matter of them ‘checking’ to make sure you really are a female. No idea why they don’t do the same to males?! However this may be a much simpler process as it was for Jessie, where the doctor asks, “Do you have any problems?” – it’s not like I was going to say “Yes” was I?

Step Five: Repeat Step Two outside yet another door. Get a HIV blood test and pray like mad your blood type doesn’t change from A+ to HIV+.

Step Six: Visit the Psychologist. This is a really difficult stamp to get as we were again asked “Are you normal?” and then tapped on the knee to check our reflexes. All 3 of us who were there actually faked our knee reaction for fear of what would happen if our leg didn’t move, which seemed to do the trick.

Step Seven: Deliver your stool sample…no, not urine, stool. As we experienced, this sample may be rejected because it’s in the wrong container. You will have to go to the pharmacy, buy the right container and bring it back the next day. This is a very important procedure (we have no idea what they checked, if they checked anything at all)!

Step Eight: Return the next day to collect results (repeat Step Two at each different door) and be complimented by doctors who say just how healthy you are. Get 4-5 more stamps and wait outside the Chief’s office for the final and most important stamp.

Step Nine: Leave the hospital being assured of your clean bill of health, despite the fact that you may have a really bad cold, no doctors will have looked in your mouth, checked your blood pressure, done a urine test, looked in your ears or eyes, checked your heart rate or checked your height and weight.